Dog Days

Happiness, it hurt like a train on a track,
Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back.
She hid around corners and she hid under beds,
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled.
With every bubble she sank with a drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink.

The dog days are over,
The dog days are done.
The horses are coming so you better run.

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father,
Run for your children and your sisters and brothers.
Leave all your love and your loving behind you,
Can’t carry it with you if you want to survive.

The dog days are over,
The dog days are gone.
Can you hear the horses, 'cause here they come.

And I never wanted anything from you,
Except everything you had and what was left after that too.

Happiness it hurt like a bullet in the mind,
Stuck them up drainpipes by someone who should know better than that.

The dog days are over,
The dog days are gone.
Can you hear the horses, 'cause here they come.

Run fast for your mother and fast for your father,
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers.
Leave all your love and your loving behind you,
Can’t carry it with you if you want to survive.

The dog days are over,
The dog days are gone.
Can you hear the horses, 'cause here they come.

Rearview

I use to tell myself that you would wait.
I borrowed time for two and I twisted fate.
I left us floating in the air for wind to hold on to.
It let me down, it let you go.

I drive around like everything's okay,
And I feel the lightning in our own mistakes.
And I was gonna tell you I wish all our wrongs could be right -
I'm too late.
I looked in my rearview,
And now I don't see you.

Sometimes the things you want are hard to take,
Sometimes the ones you love are risks you don't make, yeah.
The dust has settled into nothingness,
And I yearn for yesterday.
Just look around, I'm still the same.

So many things that we didn't say,
So many reasons the world's not the same.
Oh, it's not the same.

I drive around like nothing's here has changed,
But I know the sky has one more cloud to break.
And I was gonna tell you I wish all our wrongs could be right -
I'm too late.
I looked in my rearview,
And now I don't see you

I used to tell myself
That you would wait.

Birthday

Short and sweet:

Birthday wishes to one of the most incredible people in my life.
I adore you and words simply cannot tell you how much you mean to me, today and always.
Happy Birthday bella.

ILU
<3

Devil Wouldn't Recognize You

As quiet as it is tonight you almost think you were safe.
Your eyes are full of surprises, they cannot predict my fate.
Waiting underneath the stars, there's something you should know,
The angels they surround my heart telling me to let you go.

I barely couldn't,
I barely couldn't recognize.
But I played right into it,
Who am I to criticize?
Somehow I'll get through it
And you won't even realize
Falling through your own disguise

It's like over and over,
You're pushing me right down to the floor,
I should just walk away.
Over and over,
I keep on coming back for more,
I play into your fantasy.
Now that it's over,
You can lie to me right through your smile,
I see behind your eyes.
Now I'm sober,
No more intoxicating my mind.

Even the devil wouldn't recognize you, but I do.
Even the devil wouldn't recognize you, but I do.

You almost fooled yourself this time, let all the saints be praised.
You hide your sadness behind your smile and you keep your lost heart braced.
The steps that edge along the ledge is much higher than it seems.
But I've been on that ledge before, you can't hide yourself from me.

It's like over and over,
You're pushing me right down to the floor,
I should just walk away.
Over and over,
I keep on coming back for more,
I play into your fantasy.
Now that it's over,
You can lie to me right through your smile,
I see behind your eyes.
Now I'm sober,
No more intoxicating my mind.

Even the devil wouldn't recognize you, but I do.
Even the devil wouldn't recognize you, but I do.

Dancing Shoes

It's so nice to see you.
Can we sit and talk for a while?
I have searched forever,
I can't imagine anything better.

Kids upon the stairway,
Couples on the sidewalk squares.
If I get to your heart soon,
I'll call a perfect afternoon.

Won't you call my number.
Don't push, but don't hesitate.
Wake me from this slumber.
Rush me, but leave time to wait.

Checkmate on my shoulder.
I'm tired of this win or lose.
Well, I'm no knight in shining armor,
But I'm no pair of dancin' shoes.

My patience ran away.
Take me with you.
You keep me holding on.
Nothin's understood,
You're so confusing,
Tell it to me straight.

Won't you call my number.
Don't push, but don't hesitate.
Wake me from this slumber.
Rush me, but leave time to wait.

Rush me but leave time to wait.
I got nothin' left to lose,
But I'm no pair of dancin' shoes.

Phone

Walking across campus tonight to my car, I couldn't find my keys. I started to shake my bag furiously, to attempt to locate the jingling of my keys, inside my massive purse (which contained my wallet, a book, numerous tissues, a chocolate bar, lip gloss, my phone and the elusive keys).

During my crazy shaking-of-my-large-purse, my phone became dislodged and went flying across the concrete, hitting the ground so hard that the battery door flew off.

I then screeched like a crazy person.

I think I frightened the people standing nearby.

And they may have laughed at me.

Either way, the important matter of this story is that:
1. My phone is okay (thank jeebus)
2. I attended my last class at Western tonight. Without much fanfare.

Doesn't feel like four years are over...

Article: "Why I'm Alone" by Lea Lane

An article printed in the Huffington Post, titled "Why I'm Alone." Some of my favourite reasons:

People ask me why I'm still alone, and why I don't seek to date much, eight years after my husband died. I thought about it the other day, and came up with a few of the reasons.
I'm alone because:

... I find myself sitting in front of the computer, and three hours later I look up and the sun is down and it's too late to ask someone to go out to dinner, so I spread some cream cheese and mild salsa on wheat crackers and watch Olbermann. And I'm fine with it.

... I sometimes like it, so I won't go out and beat the bushes for some nice-enough fellow who belches so loud I jump and doesn't listen and who doesn't make me smile enough to put up with strange noises and indifference.

... I'm now used to getting up when I want and drinking from the juice bottles and not shaving my legs and leaving dishes from the night before on my bed and getting up at 3am and seeing a movie and going back to bed at 5am and not hearing a word of scorn, and not that many people can deal with that kind of thing.

... I appreciate solitude.

... I can scratch my own itches.

... it's peaceful.

... I have friends who laugh and go out to concerts and play Scrabble and keep me occupied when I want to go out and we seem to laugh more than our married friends and we even look happier, even if we aren't, but I suspect we might be, at least more so than many.

... I'm independent and outspoken and most men don't much care for women who debate them and who don't hope to get married and cook for them.

... I don't want to be a nurse for the men who still run after me, who can't even run.

... I don't want my heart broken again. Ever.

... I don't find it easy to trust.

... my memories and dreams are often X-rated and I can return to them when I want a thrill.

... I'm comfortable in my skin.

... you're more alone in an unhappy relationship than you really ever are without a relationship at all.

... my friends don't introduce me to anyone anymore because they know that unlike some women my age who settle, I want a bit more than "mammal" on my wish list.

... life doesn't always wind up the way you expect it to, and you roll with it.

... I choose to be.

... I'm able to be.

Female Powers

Lindsay: Still waiting for a drink?

Man friend: Yeah. The bartender looked right at me, then served someone else.

Lindsay: I'll help.

*leans over bar and smiles*

*two bartenders appear*

Bartender: What would you like?

Works every time...

Brand New

Smile,
We're seating you among the brave, new and proud
The new kids who hang around here, on the block,
With their brand new paper-bag tees,
Who don't know how to be anything other
Than
Amazing.

You're going to be the one to confront
Everyone.
Sun coming up while you try to survive:
"It ain't gonna be easy, kid."
You have no idea.

When you don't know how,
Just turn off the lights,
But don't shut the door.

Temporary Tattoos

Vitamin 8, kick texture out for total, ever to-date.

He mentioned my having disappeared... Oops
In addition to too much social in a row.
Then I go out into mass heat to look for bird-thing.
No worries, I assure you we will locate a drunkard,
Wouldn't that be a day?

The don't-tell policy is not gonna fly -
Literally yours.
He was one of these guys who integrates "cold" into his writing,
And everyone said, "But of the human kind,
Eyes on the dog, ticketing a nice dog."

Demons be gone.
Thursdays at least part of the same week we are in.
My ostensible impodus,
You might have to draw me a picture on a bar napkin
So I get it.
Plural becuase I am going to predict,
Match-to-letters,
Except you would order the sounds,
They are crowded
As are most good things.

My clock is close
Disease - I guess I shouldn't share?
But then it would've been a dog-less trip.

I don't suppose there's any chance you'd be willing to snap a photo of yourself right now for me?
Whatever that means.
I was agitated even before the super-clever.
I dreamt of a dollbox which keeps getting worse.
We are giving each other temporary tattoos, accidentaly -
You smell like ketchup.

10 am.
I lay in my bed, shoeless and in doorway.
I look back in my head - How did they get there?
I drove. I can drive.
The machines are in my head; they are making something new - all bets.
I think you said, I remember it being in a present tense, ha ha.
Which is, I guess, the thing.
It often isn't coerced by intention.
I was prepared to deflect on the fly.

I put the cigarette out, shut the lights, and went to bed to the sounds of dirty.
Almost went to sleep in my dress, shoes and all the rest,
Under window panes in pool-like, gentle spin.
Sun coming up on red-brick buildings, thinking of the view I used to have
Of the silver lakes, mountains, Hollywood sign.

Here equals signs of life, relief.
When repression becomes survival,
And high becomes crash.
When insanity becomes ruler,
Becomes outside.

When repression becomes survival,
And high becomes crash.
When insanity becomes ruler,
Becomes outside.

Set the Fire to the Third Bar

I find the map and draw a straight line,
Over rivers, farms, and state lines,
The distance from 'A' to where you'd 'B,'
It's only finger-lengths that I see.
I touch the place where I'd find your face.
My finger in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar,
There is no peace that I've found so far.
The laughter penetrates my silence,
As drunken men find flaws in science.
Their words mostly noises,
Ghosts with just voices.
Your words in my memory,
Are like music to me.

I'm miles from where you are.
I lay down on the cold ground.
I pray that something picks me up,
And sets me down in your warm arms.

After I have travelled so far,
We'd set the fire to the third bar.
We'd share each other like an island,
Until exhausted, close our eyelids.
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off.
Your soft skin is weeping,
A joy you can't keep in.

I'm miles from where you are.
I lay down on the cold ground.
I pray that something picks me up,
And sets me down in your warm arms.