With Every Heartbeat

I got a message on Facebook from an ex-boyfriend of mine.

We dated when I lived in Ottawa. We started dating when I was in grade 10, and he was in grade 11. (To be fair, this is not to send the message that I was an awesome player, dating older guys. I went to an arts high school. The ratio of females-to-males was 7-1. That is, for every seven girls, there was one guy. And many of them were gay, so it was more like 9-1. Sad odds.)

When I moved to London, halfway through grade 11, we obviously broke up. At first, I didn't want to, but then I realized something; I hated him.

He was rude, inconsiderate, immature and one of the most selfish people I've ever met (it didn't help that he was an only child). He wasn't that good looking either...

The message:
Hi! Call me weak but once and a while [awhile] I think about you and no matter how bad of a parting we had I think its [it's] nice to say hi ONCE every few years or so haha. I just think its [it's] kind of weird to be close to someone for a pretty long time and then just NEVER talk to them again. I think I did email you a few months ago and never got anything back. [never got said email] It doesn't really matter to me if you don't send anything back. But I'm a good man [or so you/your parents would like to believe], and it REALLY wouldn't hurt you just to say hi once and a while! [sounds like it DOES matter...] Either way as far as I can remember the ORIGINAL reason we broke up was because you moved to London. [um, no. It was in fact NOT.] I didn't like drive through your parents living room window or something haha. [okay, no, I'll give you that, but you did some other shitty stuff]

The next part is all about him, how he's in fourth year at Concordia, and got even fatter and uglier than before (alright, that last part is a lie).

And the end:
So... anyways I really don't know what you think about me [I still think you're a loser] but like I say [said] I don't really have anything against you and I just thought it wouldn't hurt just to say hi. Let me know how you're doing if you choose! Take care of yourself!

I sent the message to my friend. He pointed out all of the emphasis he placed on certain things, basically making me out to be the bad guy.

Why do ex-boyfriends have to come back into your life? Why can't they all be sent onto a deserted island, where they have to rot and think about all the shitty things they did to you, and then feel reallyreally bad?

I think I'm going to take my sweet time in responding, and make him sweat...