You Found Me

I found God on the corner of First and Amistad,
Where the west was all but won.
All alone smoking his last cigarette.
I said, "Where you been?"
He said, "Ask anything."

Where were you when everything was falling apart?
All my days were spent by the telephone.
It never rang and all I needed was a call.
It never came to the corner of First and Amistad.

Lost and insecure: you found me, you found me.
Lyin' on the floor: surrounded, surrounded.
Why'd you have to wait:
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late: you found me, you found me.

In the end everyone ends up alone.
Losing her, the only one who's ever known,
Who I am, who I'm not, who I wanna be.
No way to know how long she will be next to me.

Early morning, the city breaks.
I've been callin' for years and years and years and years,
And you never left me no messages.
You never send me no letters.
You got some kinda nerve,
Taking all my world.

Lost and insecure: you found me, you found me.
Lyin' on the floor: where were you, where were you?
Lost and insecure: you found me, you found me.
Lyin' on the floor: surrounded, surrounded.
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late: you found me, you found me
Why'd you have to wait?
To find me, to find me.

All I Ever Wanted

Tear up the photographs, but yesterday won’t let go,
Every day, every day, every minute.
Here comes the emptiness, just can’t leave lonely alone,
Every day, every day.
This second-chancin’s really getting me down.
You give and takin’ everything I dreamed about.
It’s time you let me know, let me know, just let go...

All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted,
Was a simple way to get over you.
All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted,
Was an in-between to escape this desperate scene,
Where every lie reveals the truth.
Baby cause I all ever wanted,
All I ever wanted was you.

I’d rather walk alone, don’t wanna chase you around,
Every day, every day, every minute.
I'd fall a thousand times before I let you drag me down,
Every day, every day.
Your new beginning was a perfect ending,
But I keep feeling we’ve already been here before,
It’s time you let me know, let me know, just let go...

Tell me with so many out there why I always turn to you?
Your goodbyes tear me down every time,
And it’s so easy to see that the blame is on me.

Cry

If anyone asks I tell them we both just moved on,
When people all stare, I pretend that I don't hear them talk.
Whenever I see you, I swallow my pride, and bite my tongue.
Pretend I'm okay with it all, act like there's nothing wrong.

Is it over yet; can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets;
Is this what it feels like to really cry?

If anyones asks I tell them we just grew apart.
What do I care, if they believe me or not?
Whenever I feel your memory is breaking my heart,
I pretend I'm okay with it all, act like there's nothing wrong.

I'm talking in circles, I'm lying way low,
Why won't this just stop or wait.

Is it over yet; can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets;
Is this what it feels like to really cry?

Goodbye

Everyday's the same, I feel them merge.
I try to separate, resist the urge.
But they tell me I'll be fine,
That it will all get better.
Just try to write it down,
Or put it in a letter.
But the words won't play,
And there's no easy way to say:
Goodbye, goodbye.

Keep my head on straight and don't look down.
With all I've pushed away, I'm losing ground.
But they tell me I'll be fine,
That it will all get better.
Just try to write it down,
Or put it in a letter.
But the words won't play,
And there's no easy way to say:
Goodbye, goodbye.

And from the sidelines watch me fall down.
And I don't understand the things I do,
But I'll probably be fine,
As long as I keep moving.
I'll try to write it down,
So things just keep improving.
Still the words won't play,
'Cause there's no easy way to say:
Goodbye, goodbye.

Momentarily

Did I bring this on myself?
Another day, another night,
Forgotten by the crowd.
Subsisting on the memories.

When every day is the same,
Merging into one solitary moment,
Suspended in time.

Not waiting for anything,
Or anyone.

Images

It's hard to look at
Images of
The past
Without thinking of
You/you./YOU.../you

Without thinking of
The days that were,
Now the ones that
Have passed us by.

Without knowing
That everyone
Everything,
Took all there was to take.

The images
That remain now,
Are nothing more
Than tears.

Umbrella

You have my heart, and we'll never be worlds apart.
May be in magazines, but you'll still be my star.
Baby cause in the dark you can't see shiny cars,
And that's when you need me there, with you I'll always share, because,

When the sun shines, we’ll shine together.
Told you I'll be here forever,
Said I'll always be a friend,
Took an oath, I'ma stick it out 'till the end.
Now that it's raining more than ever,
Know that we'll still have each other,
You can stand under my umbrella,
You can stand under my umbrella.

These fancy things, will never come in between,
You're part of my entity, here for infinity.
When the war has took it's part, when the world has dealt it's cards,
If the hand is hard, together we'll mend your heart

You can run into my arms, it's okay, don't be alarmed,
Come here to me, there's no distance in between our love.
So go on and let the rain pour, I'll be all you need and more.

Not So Friendly Friends

It's become increasingly more difficult to be friendly to people lately.

And by that I mean, I am growing very sick and tired of the one-sided friendships I seemed to have created.

One-sided meaning, I am doing all of the f#$*ing work.

It's not the first time I've felt this way. I once messaged my two "best friends," and told them both, quite bluntly, that I am tired of always being the one to call them and make plans. If they want to be my friend, then they should make some effort too. Why should it always be me?

I may bitch; I may be pretty bold-faced; I may have a strong personality. But I am a damn good friend. Anyone would be lucky to be close to me.

Unfortunately, I am beginning to realize as of late, that I am struggling to name any "best friends." My closest friend in the world lives in Toronto. My sexy single, international friend is, obviously, across international waters at the moment.

I've always prided myself on being an excellent friend. Call me at two in the morning and I'll listen. Let me get the check for dinner - you can pay next time! Let's go shopping for three hours to find the perfect jeans for you! I'm often the one who makes the plans, orchestrates the night out, invites everyone over for drinks, makes food for everyone to eat. Most of that is because I'm quite anal, and like everything my way, on my turf.

But why do I always have to be the one making the calls?

In this past week, I've called my "best friend," about three times, and she still hasn't called me back. I called my other friend, and when I told her I couldn't come over on Friday (the first time she's invited me out in probably months), I was the one making new plans for next week.

Am I crazy? Am I secretly, actually a really bad friend and person, who doesn't deserve to forge relationships of any kind with people?

Or are my friends just lazy?

Tears Dry On Their Own

All I can ever be to you is a darkness that we knew,
And this regret I've grown accustomed to.
Once it was so right, when we were at our high,
Waiting for you in the hotel at night.
I knew I hadn't met my match, but every moment we could snatch,
I don't know why I got so attached.
It's my responsibility and you don't owe nothing to me,
But to walk away I have no capacity.

He walks away, the sun goes down,
He takes the day but I'm grown.
And in your way, in this blue shade,
My tears dry on their own.

I don't understand, why do I stress a man,
When there's so many bigger things at hand?
We could a never had it all, we had to hit a wall,
So this is inevitable withdrawal.
Even if I stop wanting you a perspective pushes through,
I'll be some next man's other woman soon.
I shouldn't play myself again,
I should just be my own best friend,
Not fuck myself in the head with stupid men.

So we are history, your shadow covers me,
The sky above a blaze only lovers see.

I wish I could say no regrets and no emotional debts,
Cause that kiss goodbye the sun sets.
So we are history, the shadow covers me,
The sky above a blaze that only lovers see.

Sunday Morning

Sappy pathetic little me,
That was the girl I used to be.
You had me on my knees.
I'd trade you places any day,
I'd never thought you could be that way.
But you looked like me on Sunday.

You came in with the breeze on Sunday morning,
You sure have changed since yesterday without any warning.
I thought I knew you, I thought I knew you,
I thought I knew you well, so well.

You're trying my shoes on for a change.
They look so good but fit so strange.
Out of fashion so I can complain.

You came in with the breeze on Sunday morning,
You sure have changed since yesterday without any warning.
I thought I knew you, I thought I knew you,
I thought I knew you well, so well.

I know who I am, but who are you?
You're not looking like you used to.
You're on the other side of the mirror, so nothing's looking quite as clear.
Thank you, for turning on the light, thank you, now you're the parasite .
I didn't think you had it in you and now you're looking like I used to.

You came in with the breeze on Sunday morning,
You sure have changed since yesterday without any warning.
And you want me badly, cause you cannot have me.
I thought I knew you, but I've got a new view.
I thought I knew you well, oh well...

Bleeding All Over You

There are days when the cage,
Doesn't seem to open very wide at all.
There are others that would shock,
The most indiscriminate lovers of all.
My heart was made for bleeding all over you.

You've got a girlfriend and I can only,
Talk about her for so very long.
Then my mind turns into my heart,
And whispers into that dark cave that I've been wronged.

My heart was made for bleeding all over you.
And I know you're married but I've got feelings too,
But I still love you.

You moved up North and got a farm house,
There's cow shit in your brain and love in your heart.
I'm in the city and I'm trapped between,
Two buildings then having to start at the start.
You've got a daughter, now you're a father,
You have your pack and they are wild.

My heart was made for bleeding all over you.
And I know you're married but I've got feelings too,
And I still love you, I still love you.

I've got feelings too,
And I still love you,
Yes, I still love you.